Another Love Story

We waited very anxiously at the restaurant. She looked all composed and collected but I could see that she is trying her mighty best to control the urge to bite her nails. It is hard to escape the fact that she was tense and excited. I was numb. Should I be excited, for her? I don’t know. But there is an absolute lack of emotion on my part. Maybe that is not completely true. Whenever she glanced back at the entrance [which she did a million times already] I could feel a twinge of jealousy. It was short-lived but nevertheless there.

I never wanted to be there at all. But I could not leave her by herself either. And when she said that I was the best friend she ever had and she really wanted me [and no one else] to be there, she put the last nail in the coffin. That instant I was both happy and sad. Or happy and envious.

I sat there for a little longer and made some small talk about this and that which I can vouchsafe that she never paid attention to. She smiled [a million dollar smile, like I always liked to call] absentmindedly not failing to project an expression of feigned interest. The waiter got us some fresh bread with butter and Greek garlic spread. I wasn’t hungry even at the least, but the bread brought about a welcome change. I stopped my pointless chatter and worked with focus on spreading the butter evenly on the bread. She glanced one more time at the entrance that was behind her. Right after she turned her head back a trifle disappointed, I saw him. He parked his old, white Camry outside in the parking lot and started walking towards the door. I knew instantly that it was him. A rather large sized twinge of jealousy ran through my body.

To be fair to him, I have to admit that he was quite handsome. Very dapper and well spruced up. His gait displayed confidence and assurance. But I chose to focus on the fact that he was careless enough not to lock the car. He breezed in with a smile on his face and inquired the maître d' about us. The maître d' displaying unnecessary lavish attention directed him to our table. I tensed up a little bit as I saw him walking towards our table. She picked up from my body signs that he arrived and quickly straightened up. She knew me too well, I smiled to myself.

He walked over to the table where we both sat quite expecting him but pretending not to notice. He charmingly flashed his pearlies and that instant I knew that I lost her to him. He looked a little confused at my presence, but I quickly made my introductions and excused myself. He insisted that I stay too [for the sake of cordiality] but I pleasantly [I had to try hard for that] denied. My job here was done; I was to make sure that the bloke was decent enough to trust him with her for the next few hours of the evening. And that he was, much to my annoyance.

I ambled out of the restaurant with my mind in turmoil. I tried to eliminate the antagonism from my mind but in vain. I stood at the intersection quite dazed. I let a few green signals blink by before I knew what I was doing. I walked back to my apartment that was just close by. The next few hours was spent in anxiety that I have never known in my life. A teeny-weeny part of my brain wished that he be the man of her dreams because she so wanted him to be. But the overpowering part of the brain claimed that she is just hasty and does not even know him enough. Well, what can you really know from talking to a guy for a month over the phone? But she said that she just knew. I picked up a beer and chugged it down without relish.

A few hours and a couple of beers later the door bell rang. It was her. I opened it in quite a daze from the beers I guzzled. She stood there hesitantly in quite a daze from the evening. We did not talk for a very long time. Finally I was the one to give in because I could not take the silence from her anymore.
“So?” I said, raising my eyebrow with some effort.
She could not hold it back either, “I like him”, she announced, beaming from ear to ear.
“Are you crazy? Just one meeting and you like him? How can you like him just like that? For all you know he could have been a serial killer and much wanted by the police.”
“Don’t be stupid. I have been talking to him for a month and you met him too. He seemed nice”, the smile vanished from her face.
“Sure. He forgot to even lock his car, what can he take care of you?” I did not want to admit to her that I thought he was nice and will definitely make her happy.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“N’thing. What do you think?”
“Whatever!! I am quite stressed myself. I don’t feel like talking right now especially when you are in a mood like this.”
“Oh sure, you have to talk to him on the phone. Why don’t you just say so?”
A cold stare was the reply.

We did not talk properly for the next one month. I felt wretched. She was always too busy on the phone to notice that. They went out a few more evenings, but these times I did not accompany her. He picked her up [every time with flowers and gifts] and I never knew what time they came back. Those few times I don’t know how I survived. I was losing her, inch by inch. But she did not even care for me anymore. All her waking moments she either spent just smiling to herself or on the phone. I met him two more times but that did not do much to improve my feelings towards him. In fact every time I met him I hated him more and more. I wanted to tell her what I felt in my heart, that I thought he was not good enough for her. But I never could. I was afraid that she will dislike me a little more.

Days rolled on with me consumed in anger and contempt. One day she came to me and said that she was going with him on a weekend getaway. My blood stewed and reached the boiling point in an instant. How could she? Is she in love with him? This is just unbearable. I told her [acting quite indifferently] that it is not a wise thing, after all she knew him for only 6 months now. Her answer really shattered me. She said that she knew what she was doing and asked me not to interfere with her affairs. Okay, I admit I was quite rude to her, but this was just completely uncalled for. After all the years that I knew her, after all the many good times we had, after all the times I helped her out and came to her defense, after how much I loved her [yes, I loved her] this one new person in her life has changed her so much and turned her away from me. I hated him with my hearts content. I was overwhelmed with the emotions and it was a while before I realized that tears were trickling down my sallow cheeks.

She was aghast. She immediately took me in her arms and said that she was sorry about what she said and that she did not mean it. But it was too late. The dam was broken and there was no way to control it now. I sobbed so hard that my ribs ached. All the pent up sorrow, anger and frustration made their way out.

“How could you?” I asked her amidst sobs and tears; it was barely incomprehensible to me, so I repeated, “How could you? How could you choose him over me? Why does he mean the world to you and me nothing? After all these years?” I thought I was mistaken when I saw her smile. But no, she smiled showing her impeccable teeth, the smile widened and reached her ears, and before soon she broke out into laughter. She held me close to her and she laughed for a few minutes. Still hugging me, she said, “You silly little goose, what made you think I don’t love you anymore? What makes you think I chose him over you? You are my darling little sister and nobody can change what we have between us. It was my fault to ignore you all these days, but I was quite confused and mystified myself. I am really really sorry, I love you so much.” She talked about it at length about how sorry she was and how he was very nice. But I was just stuck at the fact that she still loved me the same way. She was still smiling but this time I joined in it too. I felt relieved and happy. She then slowly asked, “May I go now?” I smiled.

It has been three years since they are happily married. The whole incident did not make me like him right away, but I did not hate him at least. It took a while before Bil and I peacefully co-existed under one roof. And just last night we cooked dinner together as a team coordinating the various activities between the two of us and made an awesome dinner for my sister [or so we think]. It wasn’t the first time, but it made me reminisce the long way we have come. To say that he is my best friend now is an understatement though once in a while I still feel spasms of competition for my sister’s attention and love.